Rhino Humpers “Never Seen It All”

It’s been a WHILE since I posted on here. Going to be better about that, I promise!

Recently I had a comment from Joe asking me if I knew Jeff. I am assuming he meant Jeff Rouse, and going with that assumption, I decided to revisit this blog and a band I played in with Jeff from 1994 – 1995.

First, a little background. Early 1994, I was in a band that was fast falling-apart called Pale. We were comprised of myself on drums, Wayne Ross on guitar, Chris Heidal on bass, and the enigmatic Todd Doyle on vocals.

We managed to record one 4-track demo tape, live to DAT in storage unit(!) in February 1994 and played one concert at the Battle of the Bands at my high school, Franklin Pierce. Then the usual musical and personal differences came to be too much. I won’t go into specifics because it was over 20 years ago, but we soon went from a 4-piece to a 2-piece, just Wayne and myself.

Wayne lived with Tacoma’s most notorious punk/alternative rock band, the Rhino Humpers. These guys had t-shirts that would get you kicked out of school or forced to turn your shirt inside out at Franklin Pierce, so their legend definitely preceded them. I had been to one of their concerts in 1993 when I was all about the metal, and they didn’t do much for me at that time. 

Rhino Humpers merchandise catalog

After Pale turned into a 2-piece, we needed a new practice place. The solution was to share the Rhino Humpers’ basement. Hanging at the Rhino Humpers house was a trip. Always something going on there, most of it I probably shouldn’t talk about and honestly, a lot of it I didn’t “get” because I was only 16 at the time.

Wayne and I had a hard time finding replacement members for Pale. We tried a bell-bottomed bass player named Marcel who introduced me to Frank Zappa and all kinds of cool funk music, but I don’t think he wanted to play with us grungy dudes. There was also this singer guy who was WAY into Eddie Vedder and wrote and sang in the same style. He wrote lyrics and recorded vocals over one of our tunes, but it wasn’t exactly what we were looking for. He was really tortured at the time about a relationship he’d just gotten out of. I still remember the name of the song. “Unconditional Love (Rehab).” Heavy stuff.

Anyway, one night Wayne, Marcel, and I tagged along to a Rhino Humpers show in Seattle somewhere. I remember I had a great spot near the stage and the place was full of little punks and alternative kids. There was a lot of excitement in the air. I had met the guys in the Rhino Humpers a few times, but hadn’t spent much time with them.

Here were my impressions of them at the time:

Vince Reyes (vocals) – definitely the frontman. Robert Plant meets Snoop Dogg was how some people described him.

Brian Coloff (guitar/backing vocals) – the creative and business driving force of the band. Very quiet, but definitely in charge of the band.

Jeff Rouse (bass/backing vocals) – number 2 as far as creative and business driving force in the band. Super friendly.

Danny “Daddy-O” Fries (drums) – quiet, but also super friendly like Jeff. Wasn’t around the house that much in those days, so I didn’t spend much time with him.

Watching the Rhino Humpers that night, I was blown away by their sound. At the same time, they were poppy, aggressive, and had this almost jam-band vibe going on. They incorporated rap, funk, punk, rock, reggae, metal, and whatever else came across their way that inspired them. They were the good times band, but they also had songs with substance. I was instantly hooked, and needed all of their tapes right away.

They had quite a few, but at first I got their 3rd release, Super Sneaky. The songs on this record were like a more punk version of Mother Love Bone. “Realize” and “Star” were my two favorites. I was floored by the raw emotion and style of those songs.

Super Sneaky cover

Next, I got the Have You Seen My Dog? EP. This was the beginning of their more punk rock phase and featured songs like “Good,” “Superman,” and “Rhino Choad.” It also had a live version of the all-time classic “Killer Pipe.”

Have You Seen My Dog? cover

Meanwhile, I was hearing from Wayne that Daddy-O’s days in the band were numbered. He was in his 2nd stint in the band, and was one of 28 (literally, they counted) drummers the band had featured in their 4 year history at the time.

I remember, I started to hope, wish, dream that I could be their next drummer. Of course, I was only 16 (going on 17) at the time and had barely entered the world of professional music. In fact, I would soon find out that I had no clue about the world of professional music.

Somehow, I didn’t catch on when Jeff and then Brian came down to the Rhino Humpers basement to jam with me on separate occasions. Like I said, I was 16. And socially awkward. Painfully so.

Unbeknownst to me, the band’s manager Pat Buck had put me forward as their ideal new drummer. Young, raw talent, impressionable, and totally clueless. Needless to say, Brian and Jeff were less than enthusiastic about the idea, but coming down and jamming with me was their way of testing me out.

Meanwhile, I remember the band leaving for a gig in Olympia one night. Wayne and I were going to rehearse since the Rhinos had a gig. As soon as the van pulled away with the band and all their gear, Wayne told me that it was going to be Daddy-O’s last show (unbeknownst to him) and he would be fired the next day. This solidified for me how much I wanted to be in the band. I wished that the next time that van pulled away to do a gig, I would be in it.

Around this time, I had a dream that may sound unbelievable, but it happened. The dream was that I had joined the Rhino Humpers and things were going great. We had a new promo picture with me in it and in part of the dream I was flipping through the TV Guide to clip a schedule that had a TV show featuring the Rhino Humpers. When I woke up, I thought, “What a cool dream,” and that was it. Little did I know, the dream was about to come true. Every part of it.

The band had an all ages show coming up at the War Memorial in Puyallup. Most of my high school friends lived around the area, so I took it upon myself to promote the show and tell everyone I knew they should go. The band would be using a fill-in drummer named Don Martin who had learned about 30 minutes worth of material for the gig. This was a bit of a problem as an average Rhino show was about 90 minutes, but they were doing the gig anyway.

Since it was an all ages show and I was promoting it, someone in or around the band recommended that I come to the show with the band as a roadie. I jumped at the chance to hang with the guys and see the inner workings of a real punk rock band. Brian told me he would call me in a couple days to work out the details of picking me up for the gig. I didn’t drive at the time.

The night before the gig, Brian called me. We worked out the details of when the band would pick me up, but then he brought up another topic. He told me that the Rhino Humpers were tired of having fill-in drummers all the time and were looking for someone who would be a permanent member. He then asked me if I would be interested in trying it out for a little while. I was both elated and confused, because I didn’t understand if he was asking me to try out to be another fill-in until they got an actual adult to join the band, or if I was being considered as a permanent member. Somehow, I got up the courage to ask for clarification and he told me they were considering me as a permanent member if things went well. I was in shock and stoked beyond belief at the same time. Of course, I said yes!

They booked studio time at Naff Studios in Seattle, the same place where Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and all kinds of other Seattle bands rehearsed. They did this, I think, for impact. To show me that this was serious, not just some audition in the same basement I was already jamming in. The audition would be the day after the gig. So basically, my audition was in 2 days. No pressure!

I immediately called Wayne, who wasn’t too pleased that the Rhinos were poaching his drummer. I’m not sure what all went down between them and him after that, but I know that relations were a little cool for a while.

Brian told me I couldn’t tell any of my friends at school, so I kept it all under wraps. I didn’t have time to tell a bunch of people anyway, I had songs to learn!

So Friday afternoon, the band came to pick me up for the gig. I met Don and helped the band set up. I was so excited to be helping a real band set up. Before this, I was doing small time parties and the occasional club gig in bands that didn’t have a big name. After we set up and did soundcheck, Jeff was joking with me that they should have me get up on stage that night since Don only knew 30 minutes of material and I was going to audition the next day anyway. I laughed politely, and secretly hoped they would not do that!

A good amount of my friends from school turned out to the gig that night. The opening bands played, I hung out with my friends a little bit and they thought it was cool that I knew the Rhino Humpers and was obviously not lying when I said I was working for them that night.

The Rhinos did their set and I stayed near the stage in case I was needed. At the end of their set, Brian kept motioning to me to come up to the stage. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but figured he needed me to fix something so I came up there. He asked me to get up on the drums because Don didn’t know any more songs. I was terrified and stoked at the same time! Don got up and handed me his sticks. I had no preparation: didn’t know what songs they would ask me to play, had never played Don’s kit, and was using foreign sticks, too. But hey, this was the Rhino Humpers, and I wanted in, so I did it.

We played 3 or 4 songs, I can’t remember exactly which ones. The only one I remember we did for sure was “Fat Albert,” because it was from the Bro for Life tape, which I did not have yet. I had literally never heard the song before. Jeff turned me, said, “You know ‘Mountain Song’ by Jane’s Addiction, right? It’s just like that!”. I knew “Mountain Song” well enough to fake it and then I just listened for a groove to play for the rest.

The band and the audience loved it. My friends from school were tripping out. I told them again later that I did not expect to play with the band that night. Not sure if they believed me. The band told the audience that I would be auditioning to become their new drummer the next day.

After the gig, I was on a huge high. People were asking me to sign autographs for the first time, and I had no idea what to do. It didn’t seem right that I was signing tapes that I didn’t play on for a band that I wasn’t even in yet, so I asked the guys if it was OK and they said yes. So I did it, but told the kids I was signing for that I really was just the roadie. They didn’t care.

The ride home from the gig was a back slapping good time and they made sure to give me the Bro for Life tape so that I could learn those songs and apologized for putting me on the spot.

Bro For Life cover, courtesy of TG

The next day, the band came and picked me up for my audition, only something had changed. They started referring to it as my first rehearsal, not my audition. They never did tell me I was in the band, but it seemed pretty clear by the attitude and the number of shows that they started booking, that I was Rhino Humpers drummer number 30.

I remember Donny Paycheck, the drummer on Bro for Life, Super Sneaky, and Have You Seen My Dog? was there at my first rehearsal, too. His band Zeke were auditioning bass players down the hall. He and the Rhinos seemed to have a good relationship and he was there to say hi and conduct some business with them. He had a reputation as a hard ass who would punch you at the drop of a hat, but he has always been nothing but nice to me and I have always respected and liked him.

Soon after my first rehearsal, we resumed rehearsing in the Rhinos basement. That summer, I rehearsed with the band or was doing gigs with them 7 days a week. Because I was so green, they put me through rock n’ roll boot camp. I did my first tour with them at 16. Just a quick run to Boise, but it was still a tour. It was a crazy summer, but it was my dream and I was living it and it was awesome most of the time.

After I’d been in the band a couple weeks, we were asked to record a song for an upcoming compilation CD called South End All Stars. It was being put out by Nabil Ayers on his label Collective Fruit Records. Nabil was a member of the bands Spontaneous Funk Whorehouse, Unspun, and the Lemons. He was always a stand-up guy and multi-talented as both a guitarist and later, a rock solid drummer. Spontaneous Funk Whorehouse and Unspun both featured a drummer named Jason Livermore, who I would work with years later in Reno Divorce. Jason, in case you don’t recognize the name, is one of the most respected punk rock producer/engineers going and co-owner of the legendary Blasting Room studio in Fort Collins, Colorado. Small world, huh?

The song we chose was “Never Seen It All.” The band had recorded a previous version on the Intense! EP, but they didn’t want to re-release that one since they had a new drummer on board. I changed the song up a little, making the drum part a little more Nirvana and little a less loose.

Intense! cover, courtesy of TG. (This was an alternate cover)

This was going to be my first time in a real recording studio, other than visiting one that my Dad was recording in when I was a kid in Frankfurt. The studio was called Room One and it was owned by the guys in the band Running With Scissors. A local music TV show was going to tag along and record the sessions for a music video and also do some interviews with us. I can’t remember the name of the show, but they were cool people and we had a lot of fun.

South End All Stars cover, courtesy of Heidi Ebel

The video footage they shot of me was while I was warming up with the band. That’s why you never see me with headphones on. Somehow they missed me actually tracking the song. I do remember that I only played the song with the tape rolling twice. They decided to keep the first take. I later prided myself on being a one take drummer and always made sure to prepare extensively before going into the studio. Many of the songs I’ve recorded throughout my career were first takes.

We didn’t have any photos yet of the new lineup, so when they needed a pic for the liner notes of the album, we did what any budget punk rock band would do: scrounged up some change, went to the B&I market in Tacoma, and crammed our skinny selves into a photo booth together.

Band promo shot from South End All Stars album. Clockwise from top left: me, Jeff Rouse, Brian Coloff, Vince Reyes. Courtesy of Heidi Ebel.

Soon after that, we did 2 separate professional photo sessions. One was for a cover story in Pandemonium Magazine, the other was for our new band promo photo. The promo photo shoot was with Karen Mason, who did all the big Seattle band’s pictures.

Rhino Humpers 1994 promo picture. L-R: me, Vince Reyes, Brian Coloff (in front), and Jeff Rouse.

And then, I was told we were on the schedule for the TV show. So there I was, just like in my dream, flipping through the TV Guide, clipping out the page that had Rhino Humpers listed on the schedule as the guests on a music TV show. Dream = Reality. Unreal.

But it was SO real, and was my true entry into the world of professional music. All during the summer when I turned 17.

17 year old me in 1994